Pit bull 1, Saturn 0, Solomon -1

So, I gots me a pickup truck and a sunburned neck -- all I needed to complete the ensemble was a bulldog to ride around with me. Lo and behold, a large pit bull showed up on my doorstep last night, following a little grey Yorkie.

He was friendly, adorably cute in the way that only a bug ugly bruiser can be, and took to me immediately. Not so the little one, who took off across the street when I approached. Neither had tags on their collars.

The little one didn't trust me, and took off across the street. The big lump followed. This got me worried, as folks tend to speed down my street. Just as I was contemplating getting the chains out of my freezer, the little one darted across the street in front of a car. The lump gave chase, and what followed was a horrid screechthumpwhine as a blue Saturn SUV sent the pit bull tumbling.

The little one disappeared, the big one took off towards my ex-wife's house, and I handed the piece of SUV back to its still-startled occupants.

Fearing the worst, I found the lumphead in Crystal's back yard. He waltzed right up to me, panting, happy as a clam. I clipped one of my now-unfrozen chains to his collar, and walked him back to my front yard, where I lashed him to my porch pillar.

The Saturn SUV with its Rubbermaid body had a damaged bumper, but the dog was fine except for a slight scrape on his cheek. After I sent the poor SUV on its way, the lumphead proceeded to drag me across the neighborhood, presumably back to his home, but we ended up going in a big circle and he plopped back on my doorstep, sitting at my feet.

About an hour later, the little one came back. I managed to catch him and clip him with my other chain. By this point it was nearly 11pm, and I left them on the front porch, light on, with a water bowl, hoping their owner would come looking, even as I wanted to let 'em in to sleep next to me on my recently-popped air mattress on the floor.

In the morning, I fed them some ham and croissants. The lumphead was oh-so-happy to see me, barking whenever I disappeared from sight, sitting at my feet and looking up at me with his tongue hanging out. I wanted to keep him.

But instead, I called Animal Services. They picked the displaced pair up at 12:40pm. I hope those boys find their way back home; even with my allergies I really wanted to keep that lumphead. The little Yorkie, not so much -- far too high strung for my tastes.

Neither of them have shown up on the "lost dogs" page of the Animal Services web site. I guess that means they found their way home.

Every now and then you come across a critter that you just seem to click with. Lumpy was one of those. I miss him already, and I'm feeling pretty bummed out tonight, even though I know I did the right thing, and they were reunited with their family.

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