Running away, or running to?

As I think about some of the implications of The Village, I'm reminded of some of my own deep desires.. to essentially leave this fucked-up world behind.

The families in that movie chose to break away, leave it all behind, and create their own little world -- while not a utopia, it was a place where they could build, nurture, and create what they considered important -- a deep connection to their and other families, and of course the land on which they lived. Self-sufficient.

But the very nature of that decision isn't one I can do on my own. I need someone to do it with, someone who wants and believes in the same ideals -- and is willing to sacrifice many things to get it, for all things have a price.. and great things have great prices indeed.

I too need that family bond, that sense of grounding and place. I don't know if I will ever get that, but at the very least I would like to provide or enable that for someone else. Vicariously living, indeed!

Looking about at all of the bullshit we have to deal with on a daily basis.. one has to ask -- is this really worth it? What is this hypothetical goal that we've sacrificed ourselves to? We've already sacrificed ourselves. Do we truly know what that means? Do we know who we've given up being?

I am beginning to learn the increasingly unacceptable price I've already paid, and have vanishingly little to show for. All we can do is make the pain worth living for.

I wonder if I would be happy teaching. I'll be sacrificing many things, if I go through with this. But I feel it would be worth it.

.. In other news, add Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla and Hidalgo to the now-watched movie list. Hidalgo was particularly good.. and historically and culturally accurate, too. The Saudis lived in harmony with their (admittedly desolate) land, with a rich culture and a very strong sense of identity. And a bit of arrogance to show for all of that too, I might add..

The cats seem to be happy Chien is gone, having seen more of them in the past 24 hours than in the previous week. I'm still pretty depressed about it. My only real consolation is that I saved his life by taking him in.

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